my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
