Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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