People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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