It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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