I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
