it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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