just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize