just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No subtext here. People are naked.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
