I looked at my own cervix.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
