She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
