I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
