Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
