you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
