Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
