can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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