Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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