she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
