Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
