we were pretty classy up until the second keg
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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