There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
