The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
