Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize