He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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