It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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