The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
