How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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