the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
