If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
