Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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