Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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