before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
