I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
