what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
