i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
