We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
