Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
