I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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