This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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