everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
