Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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