he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
