I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
