She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
