"it" just moved
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
