Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
