dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Randomize
