Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
