this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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