Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
