I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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