I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
