There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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