What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
