so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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