TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
