After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My vagina is officially offended.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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