you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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