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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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