just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
