I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
